IHOP should change its name to...


One day while going out with a group of friends from work, we decided to do breakfast for lunch.  After noticing an IHOP, I decided to suggest this restaurant since after all they are known for their breakfast selection.  Surprisingly, none of my friends had been to an IHOP and as we began to pull into the parking lot they began to question the quality of food there.  Running on five hours without eating and the mere fact that it was lunch time, I made the mother of all mistakes by testifying that it was an "OK" restaurant and I assured them that I had been to an IHOP.  What I ultimately had forgotten to tell my friends was that I had been to IHOP, but not at the location we were about to enter.  As we walked into the restaurant, it appeared like all the other IHOP’s I had visited in the past – just one small difference, I NEVER walked out of an IHOP horrified and sick to my stomach like when I left this one.  I can safely assure you that after the experience I endured at this IHOP, you can count on me to NEVER step foot again in this location!  To begin this horrifying experience, It was free coffee day or some shit like that, and what kind of people like to just sit around sip coffee and bitch about their fixed incomes? Anyone over the ripe old age of 65 and older.  I swear, there had to of have been about fifty old geezers standing around waiting to be seated for a free cup of coffee.  Finally, we were seated after about a twenty minute wait, I decided to hit up the ol’ washroom to wash my hands before I ate.  After I entered the bathroom, I thought for a split second that I may have entered the ladies washroom minus a tampon machine or entered a restricted crime scene after what I had seen.  Shit hitting the fan would be an understatement to what I had witnessed.  To my surprise, there were splatters of blood on the urinal, walls, mirror, and floor.  I further investigated the scene and took the following photos with an archaic phone I had at the time.

Immediately upon entry, I looked at the ground and saw a small puddle of blood.


I then looked at the sink and saw a bunch of dried up blood shavings.


Last but not least I saw a larger puddle of blood under the urinal which appeared to have accumulated from an overflow within the urinal.


I honestly cannot come up with any logical reason as to why this bathroom looked the way it did.  So I came up with a few scenarios that could produce similiar aftermath.

A.  Someone dressed a gunshot wound from a local robbery in this bathroom and left.

B.  Someone killed another person and jammed their body into a suitcase and left.

C.  Someone performed an amateur surgical procedure.

D.  All of the above.

These are only guesses to the horror I witnessed in this bathroom.  After this oberservation, I returned to my seat and advised my friends to leave, but they insisted I was exaggerating.  After a couple friends investigated the scene for themselves; it was a unanimous decison to leave immediately and to report this IHOP to the Board of Health.  Ever since this experience I could never look at another IHOP in the same way again. It is because of this experience, I  have yet to visit any more such establishments.

Death by air fresheners?


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Saturday, 16 October 2021

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