Recently I visited a local store looking for a new toy for my dog.
I usually do not buy toys for dogs but I make an exception when it is the type of dog that leaves you alone for hours if it has a toy. So what would you commonly think you would find when searching for a dog toy? Maybe something that looked like a hamburger, squirrel, or hot dog? Well apparently things have dramatically changed since my last dog toy purchase because when I was casually looking at the selection a certain toy grabbed my eye due to it's hideous appearance.
I have seen my fair share of dog toys but nothing ever like this. I mean just a truck load of questions hit my mind when I found this poor excuse for a dog toy.
I do not even understand why it has a checkbox option. Is it required to check a box? Does the dog really know who it is if I check the box? Why does he have a cell phone? Do all people that deserve to be chewed by your dog own cell phones? Why is he wearing a "Vegas Baby" pin? To make things worse I looked all throughout the aisle to locate a female equivalent with no luck. I then searched the internet only to find the manufacturer's site offering only a male version like the store. I did however come across a female labeled "nosy neighbor" that was being showcased with the "ex" online.
After closely looking over the "nosy neighbor" it appears she has "your mail", binoculars, keys, whistle, and name tag. I hope she is aware it is a federal crime to open and take someone else's mail. She also appears to be around 100 years old and must be colorblind to explain her outfit. As if it wasn't bad enough that the "ex" is only male apparently all nosy neighbors in the world are females. I can not believe that it has to be a male to be an "ex" I guess the creator of this fine merchandise never got over their "ex" and could not stand their old "nosy neighbor" so they make cheap dog toys to cope with the fact that they probably deserved to be dumped and spied on in the first place. Even though I tried to locate a female equivalent I was unsuccessful so the best I could do was design a prototype sketch of what a female equivalent should look like.
I added some dialog so instead of a "squeaking" noise the dog can hear a "squawking" noise of her voice complaining as it chews.